10 SHOTS FIRED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE....again

UIYup! 

Getting pretty common, now.

Doesnt doesnt effect me into fear anymore. 

I think this is my 4th go around with numerous shots out in front of my home.

Rumor has it this neighborhood is called Murder One.

And houses bloods and crips. 

I wouldnt know. Its full of ppl walking streets often. 

But, i can't tell what gang they would belong to IF they even do.

But we do get, about 2 times a year now (on average) gunshots popped off right in front of my home.

I was putting clothes away and heard

8 pops then a short pause and then 2 more. 

Went outside and neighbors were already talking about it. 

I went looking for shell casings. 

And...i found 3 took a pic of 2 of them 

 

I heard the neighbors say 

there were shell casings for 44 caliber and 9 mm. The ones in my pics are the same size. 

Police took my info. 

And went on their way, and  i went to pick my don up from work , where km currently at writing this blog.

Michelle 

THE KIDS A FULL-TIME COCA-COLA EMPLOYEE!!!

I prayed for this. I did.

I prayed my son would want to get a full time position at his current job. 

Hes a  part time employee for coke-cola warehouse, here in oklahoma city, oklahoma

He drives a forklift, and makes pallets for the trucks to deliver to places.

Hes a night shift employee.

And...i hate it! 

No even gonna lie. I hate it.

I take him in at 10pm, and sometimes get a call to go get him well before his scheduled time off of 6am, which means i leave my house around the 5am hour. I hate it. Hate it even more when its way before the scheduled time off...

For a while daniel never seemed interested in even asking for full time. Said the 3 nights he worked was enough. 

Yet, has dreams, that require...cash flow.

Cant full fill those without the cash to accomplish them. 

Recently, a friend of his told him hes quitting, moving onto another job, making more cash.

Told daniel to try for that position.

Last time daniel asked about full time he was told there was a 5 month? Or was it week? Waiting list. 

I told him to get on the list.

Then this guy gets a different job, tells daniel to try for it.

So...today, we went to see if hed get it.

In the meantime, he has a friend, also trying for this same job, or maybe asking for fulltime? Im not exactly sure, but maybe oscar (the friend) will get this job, and daniel wont...who knows. They are both trying at 3pm today. 

I neglected, when i prayed, to ask God for the full time job to be on the day shift. 

And as a result, ill have to suffer...

I should t complain, except im slready lacking sleep as a result of his working this part time night position, and its sbout to go 40 hours ( or the equvilant) full time. 

Maybe in another 7 months a day pisition will open up and hed consider taking it. 

He has friends on this shift, and changing positions is hard when you go to a new schedule and have to make all new friends and associates..i hate that part of any job, or move, or anything. I dont do change well. But thats me

Daniels taking  Steps to adulthood. One baby step at a time. 

Im not in a hurry to let him go, and he doesnt seem in a hurry to leave.

It works for me.

So, for the fact i can have my son, still in my life, i guess the night shift will be something i can get used to, if theres a consistsnt schedule (and im not called  to go pick him up st some insane hour like 3am or something).

UPDATE:
the freind has the same hours (so daniel says, anyway, was no real need for him to go try for the job.
we went to coke, daniel wasnt in there maybe 10 minutes returned with a whole new shedule.

8pm-6am 4 nights a week, wednesdays and saturdays off.

at least i can sleep..lol

pushes it tight tho for things to do in the evenings for church. but ill be ok, maybe craig can take him in instead, i dont have weekly things for church i do at night...its once a month, at best, but i do enjoy getting together, so maybe craig will sacrifice an hour for me to have some socialization with other females in my church.
well cross that bridge, i guess, when we get to it.

to celebrate i took daniel out to the movies, we hadnt been in a while to a theatre and i wanted some movie popcorn.
so we went to go see THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2- Angel of Death

i enjoy a good creepy movie, and this had that vibe.

best part? i paid 4 bucks for us to see the movie, daniel paid for the food, and spent like 26.00 lol
poor fella, got a full time job, and his mom exploided his good nature..lol

i DID ask, several times if he was sure he wanted to pay that much...he said yes, he would..lol

Michelle

STORY - PUSHUPS FOR DONUTS

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah.In this school Seminary classes are held during school hours. Brother Christianson taught Seminary at this particular school. 

He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's Seminary class.

Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"

Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."

Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve.

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do
it? I need you to tell me you can do it," Brother Christianson said. Steve said, "Well... I think I
can... yeah, I can do it."

Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother
Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts.

Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream
centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited - it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.

Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?"

Cynthia said, "Yes."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk.

Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?"

Joe said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.
And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their
donut.

And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott.

Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"

Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"

Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"

Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, "HEY!
I said I didn't want one!"

Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.

Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"
Jenny said, "No."

Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve,would you do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.

By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row.

During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.
 
Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?"

Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups. You can do them any way that you want."

And Bro. Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!"

Jason didn't know what was going on.
Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."

Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him."
Steve said, "Yes, let him come in."

Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you
want a donut?"

"Yes."

"Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters. Steve's
arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?

Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."

Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.
Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson , can I help him?"

Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone, Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?"

As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Brother Christianson turned to the room and
said.

"And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."

IM A REBORN GORILLA AUNTIE!!!...Again!!! (ITS A BOY!)

not a mystery if you know me, you know i ADORE, LOVE, and am FASCINATED with Primates.
so much so, when i had an interest in becoming a reborn artist, i was pushed over the edge when i realized there were PRIMATE reborn Kits out there to do.

and intially, i was going to exclusvily work on primates and sell them to ppl.

never happened, i still have my 1st primate moneky kits undone, but i can say, i own every kit i have had assces to buing, since then, even a few limited edition ones.

so it is, in the circle, and community of reborners, you make really good freinds...and they watch your facebook feeds, and see your loves, likes, loyalties, hates, dislikes, and everything in between...

recently one of my facebook freinds...SAGE BUSH NURSERY
{you can find her facebook page here if your interested in possibly having one of these cute, adorable primate babies made for you...(i highly recommend her, shes great!)} announced to me, she was Primate Reborn Pregnant, and it turned out to be a girl, i have another blog about her here. feel free to get acquainted with my reborn primate niece. :)

well, primate reborns apparently have a very quick cycle, cause..SAGE told me the other day she was Reborn Expecting..AGAIN!!!
and today..we have the bouncing new bundle..and its a BOY!!!
shes named him ELVIS, after the famous singer (who happens to be my cousin 14 times over. pretty cool huh?)

i digress, lol..

ELVIS IS THE NEW PRIMATE ADDITON TO MY PRIMATE REBORN FAMILY..

ill have to make HIM something as well, for his being in the family..

WELCOME TO THE WORLD ELVIS!!...

Auntie Michelle

VALENTINES ANY OTHER WAY JUST WOULDNE BE AS FUN! (Valentines Day weekend speant at The Sanctuary OKC- Oklahomas Primier Haunted Attraction!)

so, im an actress, among other talents.

i work , most of the time as a volunteer (you have to really love the job, to get no pay, have rude patrons, be in the dark, cold/hot, and work on your feet from 8pm till midnight, and as late as 2am on super busy nights, gotta love doing it, for the sake of doing it...seriously) at Oklahomas Premier Haunted Attraction..The Sanctuary OKC.

Back story, just to get you up to speed:
 have to thank Andrea W. for even enlightening me about this place, i had no idea it even existed, for what ever reason, i wasnt in the loop of knowing about it until Andrea had asked me if i wanted to go to it, 2 years ago.
im down for anything fun, and exciting. so i said sure, i managed to convince  my guys (craig, and Daniel) to also go. bought our tickets online for the VIP access.
and went to have a little fun.
so, we go in, waited a few minutes.
it was our turn to have the walk through, and  we listened, and did the event.
LOVED IT!
wanted to be a aprt of ity, because when i was pregant with daniel, i worked another haunted house, so it would be like coming full circle to me, to do this again, this time WITH the kid, also acting..

so, that night, about midnight, 1am, whatever time it was i got in the door, i looked up The Sanctuary OKC online, and sent them an email asking if i could work for them, understanding it was going to be non paid (my other haunted house was also not paid)
so, that week, Daniel and myself had an interview, and a run down, and were hired.

that was thier 2nd year of being opened,

and my role was a disembowled paitient in a  surgical room.
next role was..a nun,
next role, i had craig in a room with me, and we played a couple.
next role i was a butcher cafe lady.
next role MRS CLAUSE (was the 1st year for that role, and i got to play it!)
then this weekends role: CANNIBAL LADY (one night with a daughter, last night with my husband)

so, valentines night, was spent scaring ppl in a dar building, where they have to walk through the entire, 3 floors in near pitch dark, with only a small pin-light on thier finger to have as any light source.

no candy, no gifts, no dinner out.
nope, hubby and i shared out night acting together in a room.

me, cannibal lady, he..PIG FACE!
and just to give you a sense of who craig is..he NEVER likes to be out front...EVER!, hes not a social butterfly (like me) hes not a chatter (like me), hes a behind-the-scenes-dont-wanna-be-out-there kinda guy. and thats fine. its just the way he is. i couldnt expect him to be anything more.
we thought, he was gonna do his regular thing, run the barrels, hes the "best barrel dropper they have ever had", so we thought (cause we were told) hes be doing his regular dropping barrels onto ppl.
but when we get there, they decided to have him work my room (the cafeteria)...
and, he was gonna be, my hubby...(perfect for him, by the way..lol)

i had been wearing, for a small time a pig face, but because i have a bad eye, and a strpbe light in the hallway next to me going off, my left eye ould compensate for the quick change in light, and it just looked like a completely blacked out area, and my right eye couldnt focus (cause i wasnt wearing my glasses, how odd would that look under a pig mask)...so i took that thing off, at about thr 10 minutes in, mark.
but suggeste craig wear it last night.
so he did.

and he had a ton of scares!!! FOR A GUY WHO WONT ACT!!!
hed stand still, and wait for them to hit his own cued marker he  devised, then take a step and growl at them...most ran towards the door, out and away from him...he did great!
so, yeah...

this familys a little on the oddball side..

oh..where was daniel?
he agreed to come in and work, if i cut his hair, so i did...
he was "in the closet" (LOL, im kidding!) around the corner from me 3 rooms away.
i could hear him when hed make his heavy chain rattle.
so we were all on the same floor, just like last year. (daniel was in the classroom across from the hallway were i am.)

so..HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! from the WACKO WILLIAMSON FAMILY!!! lol

ARTICLE (NEWS) - First Gray Wolf Spotted At Grand Canyon In 70 Years Shot Dead By Hunter

First Gray Wolf Spotted At Grand Canyon In 70 Years Shot Dead By Hunter

by Ari Phillips Posted on February 12, 2015

Original article can be found online here

Officials have confirmed that the first gray wolf seen around the Grand Canyon in 70 years was killed in December by a hunter in southern Utah after he mistook it for coyote. The three-year-old female, named “Echo” through a contest held with hundreds of schoolchildren, was the first gray wolf to be spotted in the region since the 1940s. After being collared in Wyoming in early January 2014, the wolf had ventured at least 750 miles into the new territory — further evidence that gray wolf populations are coming back from the brink of extinction after decades of reckless killings.

“The fact the Echo had ventured into new territory hopefully signifies that there is still additional habitat where this vulnerable species can thrive and survive,” Nidhi J. Thakar, deputy director of the public lands project at the Center for American Progress, told ThinkProgress.

While the gray wolf may be making a comeback it still occupies only around 10 percent of its historic range, according to the Center for Biological Diversity, which states that researchers have identified more than 350,000 square miles of unoccupied suitable wolf habit including remote stretches of the southern Rockies, Adirondacks, Sierra Nevada, and Cascade mountains. In the mid-20th century, the only places gray wolves could be found in the U.S. included a slice of northern Minnesota and Michigan’s Isle Royale.

The coyote hunter who shot Echo, and whose name has not been released, reported the killing to authorities as an accident. Gray wolves are on the Endangered Species Act and it is illegal to kill them anywhere in the U.S. except Idaho and Montana, eastern Washington and Oregon, and northeastern Utah. According to the Center For Biological Diversity, this partial removal of federal protections in the Northwest has lead to the deaths of thousands of wolves through state-authorized hunting and trapping in recent years. Congress is now considering a legislative rider that would preclude protecting wandering wolves like Echo, according to the wildlife conservation group.
“Echo’s killing illustrates the perils that wolves face and the imperative to maintain federal protections as called for under the science-based standards of the Endangered Species Act,” said Michael Robinson of the Center for Biological Diversity, in a statement. “Keeping wolves on the endangered list is the basis for the public education we need, to enable more wolves to live and thrive and minimize conflict.”

There are now more than 6,000 gray wolves in the continental United States, concentrated in Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, as well as the Rocky Mountain states of Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming, and eastern Oregon and Washington.

As urban boundaries sprawl across the West — encroaching further into wild areas suitable for large animals such as wolves — the issue of co-existence becomes more important as animals have limited alternative habitat to retreat into. While ranchers and sportsmen are familiar with the challenges of habituating among wild animals, larger and denser developments can cause the tensions to escalate.
“As urban habitats expand into undeveloped areas there is an increasing challenge with ensuring wolves can peacefully co-exist with humans,” said Thakar.

Existing with humans means far more than just learning how to cross the street: on top of sprawling development, expansive ecological damage associated with climate change and fossil fuel extraction cause massive habitat degradation. Even the species that thrive in this new human-dominated era, such as coyotes, are caught in a continuous struggle — and the results can be surprising.

This year a black bear killed a hiker in New Jersey for the first time in over 150 years as the bear population grows and spreads throughout the state. Polar bear attacks on humans are increasing in areas around the Arctic. And a new hybrid between coyotes and wolves, the coywolf, is rapidly expanding across the East as it combines the prowess of a wolf and cunning of a coyote — a bad combination for deer, another species that is thriving across suburban America.

With more species struggling to survive in a dramatically altered wild, this co-existence with unfamiliar species may become increasingly common as human populations continue to grow, urbanize, and demand more resources.

ITS SOMETIMES IN THE SMALLEST OF GESTURES THE GREATEST HAPPINESS & HOPE COMES

its no secret that my son struggles with a testimony of any gospel.

i believe he does believe in a higher power he calls God, but i think thats where it stops.
im not even sure he believes in a Jesus, to be honest.

hes so much like my mother, who had to look at everything with a science mind.
if it could be explained away by logic, and physics, and science, that HAD to be the way it was.
hes just the same, always looking for the answer in the science, or explanation.

never trusting and leaning on faith.

a few weeks ago, the sister missionaries and my husband and i were talking in the hallway by the family history room, and somehow daniel came up in the conversation, they asked who he was.
i knew they most likely hadnt crossed paths with him much, because they dont run in the same circles...but he is usually at church on wednesday nights, so they should have seen him, at least.

without batting an eye, craig tells them hes there, in the gym, and hes 20..and just general stuff.
i added he was super cute and handsome..lol

so, we walk down to the gym, i point him out, make sure they know who he is, and walk around to the other door to not make it look like i had anything to do with them asking him about himself.

they were talking to hm, when i walked up, and were in the middle of asking him if hed attend the Singles Family Home Evening. (a Mormon weekly family activity night).
i walked up, he right away said, he knew i had something to do with it...
but..amazing to me, he agreed to go, asked if id take him...

well, monday night came, and he decided to not go, because he got a new game for his xbox1

just now (tuesday,  february 10) i got a call from the sister missionaries...
asking if i thought daniel would be at church on wednesday, and could they talk to him.

hes better to get in person than try to obligate over the phone, if he has enough time to avoid, hell avoid. so, i told them to snag him at church on wednesday.

i also, told them to make sure they spoke with me about what to look for in his body cues for when hes listening and engaged, and when hes not, and tuned anyone out. i really do know him that well.

the point for this blog, is,
these 2 young ladies, sister missionaries for my church...who are the 1st ones who are aggressively trying.
no one else has really made an effort...
i mean they socialize with him when they see himn, ask how he is, but no ones asked him to anything to do with his age..or inquired of him anything deeper...
these 2 went straight in for the kill...
sure, its part of their job, but it still. means so much more to me...than a number.
my kids more than a statistic, more than a number on a roster, hes a soul, struggling with whats truth and not truth.

the trying these 2 ladies are doing means everything to me.

i dont expect huge landmark results, but i can hopefully see slight change, even if theres no change, i am so appreciative that SOMEONE has thought enough of my son to engage him in some religious meaning.

it frightens me, seriously makes me quiver to think, when i die, ill have no way to comfort my son in the most trying time of his life...and that alone, will break him, or build him, and i think...its will lean more towards a break.
he has been my EVERYTHING..
and i have devoted most of our lives together to my focus being on him. as he has gotten older i have pulled away, but not completely, hes still my child. ill always want the best for him, always hope for better for him, always want him to succeed...

So i wasnt sure how to end this blog...i have so much to say emotionally about it, but cant find the words, and last night (feb 12, several days since i started this entry) i was at a church function. For women. 

And the bishop (what we call a pastor) got up and started to talk about  pepper plant he was attempting to plant thats stem broke off, and he tossed the stem off to the side. 

Planted the root end, and watered and took care if his garden.

A few days later, he noticed this stem was still green, not necessarily thriving, but it wasnt dead either.
so he took that stem, because it was still alive, and plopped that thing in the ground...and it..started to grow, not like the others, it was slow, and smaller, and far less than the other plants were, but..it grew, 

and to bishop hardys amazment it produced a pepper!

And he made an analogy. 

ppl are often like the stem, tossed to the side, because the challenge to reach them seems impossible to break.

Ppl have dormant testimonies. And we think the effort, or the continual failed effort to try will lead no where with an individual. 

Were not to judge that person, for what we see as a failed effort in our part. 

Often what we do, to help a soul grow, an flourish, wont be seen by you, the gardener at hand. Its seen by others as the fruit of your efforts.

keep planting, anyway.
keep watering anyway,
keep shining, anyway

 

reminds me of this quote by Mother Theresa

 

needles to say, par for the course if who i a, thinking about my son being a tossed aside pepper stem, made me...cry..and i did...
its a common joke among those i love, that ill cry when i start to talk about my son.
its true, i do, cause my hearts so swollen for him and torn in so many directions, and so filled with love for him...it all bubbles up and spills out my eyes.
im human. forgive me.

We are all like this stem, broken, hungry, seeking to thrive. Some are stubborn, some are prideful, some are confused, some seem to not care, others dont, not right now...theres a million reasons why ppl dont have a testimony..thats not for anyone to judge them for, but to love them through.

Plant them anyway, keep watering them, shine sun on them...eventually, a fruit may come.

These 2 sister missionaries, weather they know it or not..are the gardeners for my son right now.

And maybe tonight (if he goes to church) they can catch him to talk to him...without me being there. 

And they can help to grow a struggling testimony. 

They have no idea how much i appreciate them and just the effort, even if we see no fruit come from this at all. Its the effort. The acknowledgment that Daniel IS important to God, and the entire universe. Not just to me, his mother. 

Im like any other mom out there, i want the best for my son, and i struggle inside myself with when to hang on and when to let go.

Thats where God comes in i guess, Hes there to catch when your just not sure. 

Its no secret. I love my kid with an intense passion. 

If he reads this, i want him to know, i just want you to be on the other side with me and we know each other. We wont be strangers. Well be family.

Daniel, you mean everything i have ever dreamed of, to me.

I want you to know the same joy i have within me.
But your gonna have to take a leap of faith, and trust that mysteries you can explain away are just as important as the ones, you cant, and maybe they were all designed by the same Master.
i want you, to be able to know, after this life, you can be with YOUR kids...trust me it will mean mountains of everything to know that you can.
i want you to know that no matter how hard, and difficult life is and will get (and it will trust me, oh it will!) that Gods always right there, Hell never walk away, that you can be and do ANYTHING and hell always still love you, more than even i do..
i want you to know that every promise, and blessing in the bible, and give to you, and told to you, can..be all yours!
i want you to know that, i have done everything for you..so you could have what i didnt, and part of that i failed on, and i am sorry, i negelcted the church part, i never helpped you fevelop a good foundation in the gosple, and thats comepletely on me...and i take ownership and repsonisbility for that. i wont deny, in that area i sucked as a mother.
but you have freedome and accountability now, and cant crutch on my mistake as your reasons for not  seeking the higher road, and the deeper meaning.
your old enough now, to walk this path, like i had to, on my own, with no one there, to figure it all out.
trust, Daniel.that the steps TOWARDS God, will be good and rewarding, dont look for it to fail...look for the blessings.
always remember we have to suffer the stor before we can ever see the rainbow, so it is with life, trials and tribulations, and heartache, and pain will always preceade peace, and happiness.
always in the middle of an issue, seek the rainbow..

Just trust, Daniel, my best advice is to Trust in God. He wont let you down.
His answers wont be on your time, always on his, but hell always answer. Always!

I love you, mamma

BECAUSE ITS A CAUSE....CAPS FOR CHEMO KIDS...OR...HAPPY CAPS

So, at hubbys company party, i cnat remember how weceven got tonthe dubject, to be honest, but it came up ( by myself) that i crochet.

All pf a sudden, the woman i was talking to got all excited and mentioned that hubbys company has a cause they are invovled with.

It was news to me, and this was my 3rd company party i was attending gor this vimpany.

Anyway, she wasctelling me aboutbthis cause where they wnated ppl who could crochet, knit, loom, (im adding sewing) can make caps and hats forvtheseckidscin this cause that havevto go through chemo thereapy. 

She didnt havevto sell me, i was allready intrigued when she said cause..lol

It just happens i crochet, so my talent can becused for this. 

The basics (and im repeting what i was told im still awaiting an official email to give me details) arecthat we take the time to create the caps/ hats and they pay for the yarn.

Im not sure if theybpay for shipping, but im willing to do thatbto get abgroup going for this  cause.

So i posted a blip aboutbit in a group i adim, had ppl interested. 

Made a post on facebook, and more ppl

Now, i want to make another group, just for this to keep info in one place, share patterns, ideas, pics, etc...

This is a good thing.

Im so pleased my hubbys comapny is investing in this cause. 

So much good can come from doing something dor someone else.

More info to come.

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ellieshats

Web page: http://ellieshats.org

Hubbys workplace on the webpage and why they decided this cause

http://ellieshats.org/foxhole-technology-helps-launch-ellies-brigade/

Michelle

STORY - Everyone Was Warned Not to Touch Him – But This Guy Did

Everyone Was Warned Not to Touch Him – But This Guy Did

Yvonne Holterman | January 13, 2015

Original online story can be found here.

Man picks this cat up off the ground and tries to carry him home. Then something heartbreaking happens…
(grab a tissue, this may make your heart melt.)

Everyone in the apartment complex where I lived knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident Tomcat.

Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting eating, garbage, and shall we say love. The combination of these things combined with the life spend outside had their effect on Ugly.
To start with, he only had one eye, and where the other should of been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the other side, his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time. and he healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped- type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.

Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. “That’s one Ugly cat!!”

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come close to their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there getting soaked until you gave up and quit. if you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, or whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.
Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home, I could hear him whizzing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought.

Then I felt a familiar tugging and suckling sensation on my ear – Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously trying to suckling my ear. I pulled him closer to me and he bump the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scared cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I though Ugly was the beautiful, loving creature I have ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion of what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me about more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk shows special ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I care for.
Many people want to be richer, more successful, well like, beautiful,  but for me, I will always try to be Ugly!

this story touched me...and thats why i wanted to post it to my blog.

 

yesterday, i was with a church companion, and we visited another sister in my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints AKA: Mormon).

we have a program where we have a set of female congregational members, assigned to every other female, so ever female has someone come by at least once a month (or writes, or prays for them) to make sure they are ok, and we share a message.

 

so, the message was about the Attributes of Jesus Christ. (that message can be found here )

and one point marcia (my companion) had brought up was what the difference of PURITY and PERFECTION was.

i only reference that in this..as theres a part in the story where the author talks about purity.

i digress, my point for blogging this story, was because i have said for a long time, that all anyone (anything, really) wants is to be loved.

thats it.

loved with a purity, no restrictions, no demands, no limits, no reasons..just. plain. loved.

no matter what wrong, we have done, we know that person still loves us.

thats what we want.

animals, i feel, have emotion, ive said this for years, and i think are very much like us..they want to be loved.

no matter how mean we are, a dog will still..wag its tail when it sees us..for the love. a cat, will usually pur when we pet it, and they are filled with an attitude, most of the time, lol

this story, reminded me, on some level, were all broken, and hurting, or at least seeking a higher love than ourselves. 

i know im broken, have been for a long time, its taken me years to find the right glue" to patch my broken heart.

and i wear it on my sleeve.

i am effected by my past. 

its always there, in my face, and all i wanted was the love from a mother.

i never had a dad to get it from, so my only option was my mom. and she lacked (to me anyway) in the loving department...she was a rpvider, a good one, cant fault that..but she didnt show me love.

its taken me almost 50 years to realize, she never loved herself, enough to give to me.

we have to won it first before we can share it with others. and thats often (in my case anyway) a long hard deep hurting road we walk.

how often do we really appreciate the love someone else shows us in return if we do get it? or are we suspicious of its reasons?

i try to love ppl with the same love i have for my son..

if i say i love you, thats because i really do.

i feel a deep bond, and will think of that person all the time, in different ways and situations.

im an admin for a group on facebook with nearly 4K ppl in it (to date) and i think of my admins, almost the entire time im away from the group. wondering if they are struggling, having issues with members, are they frustrated? angry? upset at another member? 

most of the time, they are fine...

but i worry, because i dont want them to suffer any more pain and issue than they should.

i think of friends, all the time, even ones from my days in Bethesda MD). i wonder how they are, if lifes treating them ok. are they hurting. and if so, i pray they come through it without scars.

i think of my best friend, sandy..shes like a sister to me, and altho she makes some pretty crappy choices, it doesnt warrant me to let her go, and dump her. i cant save her, but i can always love her...and i want desperately for her to see her value within herself...but thats a struggle she has to face within her own person. i can always be there when shes ready..but i cant hand those precious keys over.i dont own hers...i only own mine.

i think of former co-workers, and ppl i pass on the street and simply say hello to. 

i try to love everyone.

im not gonna lie, some ppl are harder to love...that makes the challenge of acting in purity its finest.

without the  conflict, theres never growth.

you have to have  strife, to grow...

 

a seed PUSHES through the dirt to pop its blossom out...

a child, is SQUEEZED by muscles and organs and thrust into the world at birth.

we can not...become better if we are never challenged.

we HAVE to suffer something to appreciate the difference from where we were to where we end up.

in the end, what we do effects other. and we have a deeper love (if it was goodness we shared) towards them, which lends itself to a purity in love.

im this sad kitten, broken, hurt, longing, for someone to just scoop me up and love me. (mainly my mom, who sadly isnt here any longer, doesnt take away the fact i ach for that love from her)

i see it more and more every day..ppl in my life willing to cry with me, over things i have emotions for, ppl who share sentiments with me on facebook, because it makes them think of me, ppl who go out and get me things because i like them..

i am loved.

and i can see it now, more and more.

what i lack in my mothers aection, is given to me in sprinkles with others around me.

i am NOT forgotten...

(im gonna go religious here, forgive me if its not your thing)
 

God has NEVER stopped loving me. EVER, no matter what i have done, or what condition i am in, or how i look, or the way i behave..HE STILL loves me.

and i believe, has these other ppl in my life to fill the void...

it will never fill it comepltely, but it sure does help to remember that because i am who i am, Hes always going to provide, even when to me it seems completely hopeless.

the pain and loss of my mom may never ever go away, but it is being healed. day by day.

that love, helps me to be a better person...that love helps me to grow.

if you see someone struggling, whats your reaction? do you walk by and  hope you forget them? or do you stop, and extend a hand...

are you everyone else? or are you the guy who helped "Ugly" the cat? 

because some of us are  "Ugly" and all we need is compassion...

some of us only want to be...loved.

Michelle

DNA MAY POINT ME IN A DIRECTION I HAVENT LOOKED IN (STILL seeking my Dad)

so, for those who dont know, ill let you know something.

at my church i am whats called a: Family History Consultant.
basically, i help ppl with their family history, and searching for family.

back story..

i dont know my dad, its been an issue my entire life, because the info i have is very limited.
i was told, (by my mom) that he left us, when we lived in Van Nuys Cali, when i was 2 years old (1969ish).
he was married (unconfirmed) to a woman in Utah , and had 3 sons (uncomfirmed)
married to my mom (she says, i have never seen document to show that to be a fact)
married to another woman , also in cali, who had a daughter about 4 years older than myself. (unconfirmed for both)

and..he was never divorced from any of them, so he was what most ppl would call: a bigamist.

as a side not, whats funny, is i am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
most ppl know my faith by the nickname: Mormon

and ppl STILL , even tho it hasnt been a way of life for over 100 years or more, STILL think we marry more than one wife (or the husbands would).
and its just kinda funny, not like hillarious funny, just ODD funny, that he had/has this past, and im a member of a faith thats got a history of that kinda thing.
and i dont know if hes ever been a member or not.

my info on my dad has come from just my mom, and i know for a fact this man existed, because my aunt has met him, so there has been SOMEONE who stood as that person in my life.

i have looked for him online since 1999, when i created my online ID. and have had NO success...ANYWHERE!
i was so excited when the 1940 census was opened up, i waited with baited breath to look for him, and came out...devastated.

back to my position in my church..

i was called (asked to do this position) about 5 years ago, now.
and i had serious reservations about doing it, because i knew finding him anywhere on any site, in any family tree was already tough, and here id be helping other ppl find family, and watching them get excited, and thrilled, and make headway, and id be...stuck.
and emotionally, that was going to be a hard place to sit and be ok with.
and i asked God, every Sunday, WHY ? WHYYY was i called to THIS position...

recently i had a breakthrough to do with my faith, that has settled some of my aggrivation about not finding this man..

but, still...5 years later, hes no easier to find than he was on day one.
i have grown to accept the fact that he may never be found.
i have come to the thinking hes not the name id know him as, he has another name, but with no data to know for sure...i cant find him under anything, other than what i have info on, because its all i was given.

2 weeks ago, i was in our Family History room, and was discussing, again, the fact hes unknown, and hard to find...and the suggestion came up that i should do a DNA and see where that took me.
on one site, the DNA will show you other ppl in the same DNA as you, you may actually be connected too.

so, i resolved, at some point this year, id do a DNA...never know...maybe ill find a sibling, or...HIM!
at best, ill see where my DNA  sits across the world.
and thats pretty cool, to see where the DNA i have stems from regionally wise.

so, i made a resolve, id do a DNA ..one day. put that off to some place in the back of my head, and didnt give it really much more thought.

the other day, on facebook, a member of my congregation, said she had bought 2 DNA tests by accident, only needed one, and was anyone interested in her other one.
by the time i saw the note, i was sure someone else had allready asked to have the test, but i told her on Facebook, id want it.

opened up facebook today, and she said shed have it for me.

 so, at some point, ill own my own DNA kit, to send off and have proccessed, and, then, eventually have some kinda result.

will it lead me to my dad? maybe. maybe not.
but it can show me more than what i have now. and you cant go wrong with that.

am i excited? YES! YES I AM!

theres a few tests out there, and im not sure which one she has, when i get it ill add a blog about it, what i did, how i did it, etc.

Michelle

DID MY 1st 30 MINUTE WALK....and i didnt die!

So, today is sarurday.

Picked the kid up from work.

We went to the gym, snd walked.

Todays objective....walk 1 15 minute, 1 30 minute.

Chest hurt on the 15. Took a micro break...continued to walk through it on the floor, not the treadmill, and did a full 30 minutes on the treadmill when i walked out that last bit to calm my heart down.  didn't hurt, and...i broke a small sweat. Which im gonna say...is gross!!!!

For whatever reason, i DETEST  sweating!  Its just plain nasty to me! But...i let it happen. 

And yes, i was completly grossed out by it happening. 

But i know, and understand...that to achieve my goal..its inevidable. It will HAVE to happen.

Im just gonna have to allow ot to. And ill either get used to it (right now thats laughable, lol) , or....suck it up snd just work through it everytime ( i believe thats the option ill deal with most often).

I just do not get how some ppl can LOVE  to sweat! Blah! 

Your nuts....just wanna put that out there! Lol

Walked a mile in my 30! Tried to get a pic of my final image for that and missed it by a second. So, no pic.

This pic is when I started the cool down. Wanted a pic to show I hit that 1 mile mark.

Beyond that..i was figuring out jow many times ive worked out since wednesday when i sighned up

Wed-1-night

Thur-2-morning/night

Fri-1-morning

Sat-1-morning

5 times. 4 days. 

Thats more than my original goal i had set which was 3-7 times. Well, i guess its halfway,actually. Its right in the middle. More than my lowest expectation, and not qute as high as my highest expectation.  

But its good. 

Now, if i can get the kid to agree to go at night on mon/ tues...id have 2 more in.

Not vonna do nuthing on sunday..cause they close at 8pm anyway, and i think id rather be there at night when thelace is almost dead.

I paid for an app on my iphone called:  Walkmeter.

Has a GPS in the app to calculate how far youve walked. Doesnt require cell data to be used. For tjose, like myself that have no phone plan, its good. 

App cost: 4.99 

So, i tried it out today...hoped it would log my steps for me.

Well....it didnt! You actually have to be moving form a point to another point for the app to log anything.

So, i tried another app i have. One i downloaded for free.

And it actually logged my steps for the whole 30 minutes. 

Activated by movement of the device itself. Not using a cell data or satalight to log any info.

That apps called: Stepmeter. And, again, its free. 

Turned breakfast down again. Just not in the mood to eat after a walk.

Michelle

SO, SOMETHING HAPPENED ATY THE GYM, AND SOMETHING HAPPEND AFTER THE GYM (both good)

So, i go in after i drop my son off from work, do whatever sessions i feel like, i have free range, can do as little or as much as i wanna, its completely up to me.

and i walk in, and theres this  young guy..couldnt be much older (if he even is) than my son, who was finishing up on some machine hed just worked out on.
looked at me, and smiled.

hes the 1st one who looked at me, and smiled.

well, he went about his business, and i did my treadmill thing.
i did over hear him tell Zack (the 10gym night manager guy) that hed been there since 10pm! i was in there at like midnight..what the heck?!?!? figured hed be leaving soon...
but nope..he was there till about 1am, when i was walking out the door.

i walked out, and he was outside, said hello to me..kinda shocked me, wasnt thinking anyone was out there, but..there he was..lol

found out his names Malachi, and he works at a walmart in a neighboring city.

i told him if he saw me again, to not be a stranger. im friendly..lol
i think it was his mom, who picked him up, but i had offered to take him home, hes not too far.

so, that was the thing at the gym..i think i made my 1st friend!
pretty cool!

so, i did my thing, walked, did 2 15s and ONE 20minute...just cause i wanted to see if i could manage to do a 20 minute and not die..
1st 15 was watching some boring sports junk..that 15 dragged onnnnnnn. thought it was never gonna end, took a small break, asked Zach how to do the TV, he showed me, and i adjusted it to PBS...
started off watching LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE, (a British comedy i really enjoy) and then it went to THIS OLD HOUSE...well, one 15 minute and that 20 minute walk, went by like a flash!

i have no idea where the time went with them, but they both..went away..somewhere...lol

its amazing how when you enjoy whatever it is your looking at you can allow time to slip by, but when your watching something you dont like..you hate time..lol

wernt home, rested a few, and had to go and get the kid, who was all excited about going in and working out with me...
had a bag in the car with his running shoes, had on shorts, had his ipad mini, and some earbuds, and was ready..

on the way there he asked me...

"want to have some breakfast?"
my answer........and im surprised: "after i work out"

he wanted to go home and rest, i get it, he works hard at  Coke-Cola doing manual labor, and hes tired..i get that, but i was ready, to work out..gotta make this 100.00 mean something.
so he opted for the work out.

now, im not gonna say in a month i wont think, id rather have that food, cause to be honest, i am addicted to food..ill take whatever chance i can to get it, but i wasnt going to this am..i had gotten ready, and was set to at least walk...after that, if i felt like breakfast, sure. id have some..

so, i did my thing again...
1 15 minute walk
and my 2nd walk, i did a 20 minute one.
even set my pace to higher this time on the 20. i have been doing 2.2. i went up to 2.4 (yeah. go me!)

barely can see...2.4 set.

15 minutes length i walked. (.80)

20 minutes almost a full mile (.98)

felt, after that i was good.

have to remember just a few hours earlier i had done, 2 15s and a 20...
so in less than 24 hours i had walked a total of: almost an hour and a half...

i was kinda tired...

daniel was right beside me, walking, and at one point he even ran on his treadmill...just like he said hed be, with his earbuds and his ipad mini, and some movie he had on the thing...

daniel walking

Daniel, running. he just stopped when i got this pic.

we got done, and we headed out for breakfast, and i turned the food down!
I WASNT HUNGRY!!!

whats going on with me?
ugh..so NOT who i am...lol

i know why tho..walking makes me use my tummy muscles, and i had just gotten done walking and didnt feel like i wanted anything to eat..cause i just didnt want it..but some liquid id do..
(and no, not no yucky water..BLAH!)

so, he got 3 sausage biscuits, 3 cookies, a drink, maybe a hash brown, im not sure, and i got 2 drinks.
i was good..lol

told daniel my exercise goals, to lose 20 pounds, thats where i want to be when i reach my 1st big goal, but that i have smaller goals to get there, like walking a full week at 30 minutes without a break, then walking 1 hour without a break...

he said 20 pounds lost would be a good goal.

told him im in no hurry to get to it, im just pacing myself right now. (no pressure)

 just weighed myself..

ugh..im right at the same place i always am...260...blah!

now, theres no way i expect in a few days to lose much if anything..
i always seem to balance right in between 250 and 260...so its typical for me to be there. nothing new.

i was told at the gastric surgery office, to always remove 5 pounds for clothes and stuff in your belly that you havnt gotten rid of...
so, again, that puts me right at...255ish...typical spot..lol

but im not too worried about it, not trying to lose right now, im just trying to maintain a healthy pace where i dont feel like my hearts exploding out of my chest..when i get there, ill try to lose some weight.

since gastric surgery..ive lost about 60 pounds total...i was 310 when i started.
so, im ok with where i am...im good.
im not gonna worry about the weight..its consistent, and thats ok with me.

Michelle

I DIDNT JUST DIVE IN.I DOVE INTO THE DEEP END (got a full membership to 10gym)

so, i decided...
id do it.
id go ahead and get that membership...

what am i so worried about?
just do it!
this is about you! not the rest of the world!
just..jump in!

so, i did, i didnt just jump in, i dove in, head 1st in the deep end..lol

i had a choice 10 bucks a month for a membership, or...20.00 a moth for a membership.

that was a toughie, cause i have to make sure i have that every month for the next 11 months, before i renew the membership (if i do) again. or...i pay like 70.00 something for the default fee.

so, i got ready, all dressed up in a nice neon yellow shirt...my new workout pants, my yellow ankel socks (and anyone that knows me, knows i hate to wear socks), my new awesome neon  yellow shoes, my new yellow earbuds, yellow water proof armband to hold my phone (so i can listen to music)...
took the kid to work, and told myself all the way there..

theres NOTHING to worry about, no ones gonna care your there, they dont even see you, except you SCREAM ..notice me in neon yellow..lol
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THEM! THIS IS ABOUT YOU!

walked right up to the cvounter, and was met by Zach..hes my new guy...
and..paid for a full membership, PLUS a month a head.
97.00 bucks roughly for that.
50.00 for the annual fee, 20.00 for the month, plus 20.00 ahead. (the extra 7 is all extra taxes and  inhouse fees for stuf in the small print)

so, im ahead by a month.

got a little key fob i get to scan in to make sure im a member. and can use the equipment.

so, i went and got shown how to turn on the treadmill...
and i walked.

felt like forever...was about 18 minutes, and i had to stop..
my chest started to hurt, and i am really very paranoid about that, since my heart atatck, i have no idea whats going on when it feels stressed like it does when i do anything a little over what i normally do.
its all prolly psychosymatic (all in my head) , but i stop, to calm down, anyway. just in case.,

sat for a few, to get myself on a level i felt i could continue...and i went back on the  treadmill for another 15 minutes.

30. thats all. i was sweating drops. no lie..thats enough for one day...

felt like a wet noodle after i got off that thing, my legs were all wobbly and seriously, i felt like a slice of bologna! floppy and loose, not in a good way either..lol 

so, i went home, hit the house about 1am, craig got up at 2am, and woke me up...i managed, to grab a couple of hours before i had to get back up at 5 to go get the kid from work..

i am sore! 30 minutes! and im litterally sore! thats just crazy!

so, i go get him, he gets in the car, i say "look what i got"
and i show him the 10gym key fob on my car keys.

his eyes got wide, and he looked at me and asked...do you get to take someone?

i told him with the basic 10.00 membership, no, i couldnt, but i didnt get that one, i opted for the other just in case he did decide to come along.

little did i know it would be...this am!

he wanted to go by there and get a tour, before we went home, so, we drove over there...and zack, smiled and seemed a bit shocked to see me back in since i had left, he met daniel, and had him sign a waiver as a guest. and i gave daniel a tour, he got on the treadmill for a few, and said, he was gonna work out..right next to me when we worked out the same days..

yeah, nice dream, but when hes available, place will be busy, unless we go at night, when were both up and active..
place is closed friday night after 10 pm, when im on my way back from dropping the kid off at about 11ishpm, so id have to go during saturday sometime...or during the day on friday.

daniels even gonna pack a bag, with gym shorts, a towel, water bottle, his running shoes. so he can change and go with me on the way back from his work..

so, ill workout 2 times on tursdays it looks like, after i drop him off, and again after i pick him up...

ill have to redo this schedule...
gonna have to include him now..and his availability..

fridays when i pick up daniel, craigs with us...and hes not gonna wanna sit for a half hour, to an hour waiting on us to get done at the gym, maybe well leave craig home, gym opens at 6am fridays, we can get in, get that done..

IF the kid wants to, of course...id just wanna go home and got to sleep...lol...i want to anyway, but id go into the gym if he really wanted to...

well see how much he wants to do this...
well see how far i feel my 97.00 will go...

ok..so schedule for 10gym looks like this:

MON - opens at 5am-24 hours/
TUE - 24 hours/
WED - 24 Hours/ i go in 11pm, walk 30 minutes
THU - 24 Hour / i go in 11pm , walk 30 minutes
                         / i go in 7am, walk 30 minutes
FRI - close at 10pm /7am walking 30+ minutes
SAT - 6am-8pm/
SUN 8qm-8pm/

with just the wednesday and thrudays (2 times) i can get in 3 workouts for the week...
thats 30 minutes each time, just trying, at this point to build myself up to endurance , so i can go an hour..
so im starting low and slow.

if i do the friday morning thats 4 workouts in 3 days...with potential to do more on days daniels hime, at night (when hes most active, and i happen to be as well) 2 more, actually...monday/tues.
makes a total of 6 sessions 5 days. 

eventually, ill work my way up to that Couch to 5K, i wanna do..
after that ill run a 5k..

but those are the long term goals.
you start small..
and i want to walk 30 minutes without needing a break, for a full week (3-7days)
when i get that done, ill walk for an hour, without a break (3-7 days)

somewhere in there maybe lose a wight goal of 20 pounds.

i can do this.
i got this.

:)

Michelle