we all (or most anyway) have heard the story (from the Bible) of the Prodigal Son.
of you have not, ill refresh your memory, without going itno any bible text to do it and throw a modern spin on it so it makes sense for today.,..
The parable begins with a young man, the younger of two sons, who asks his father to give him his share of the estate. The implication is the son couldn't wait for his father's death for his inheritance, he wanted it immediately. The father agrees and divides his estate between both sons.
Upon receiving his portion of the inheritance, the younger son travels to a distant country and wastes all his money in extravagant living. Immediately thereafter, a famine strikes the land; he becomes desperately poor and is forced to take work as a swineherd. (This would have been abhorrent to Jesus' Jewish audience, who considered swine unclean animals.) When he reaches the point of envying the food of the pigs he is watching, he finally comes to his senses.
the son prepares a speach, to reunite with his father and ask to be a work hand.
The son does not even have time to finish his rehearsed speech, since the father calls for his servants to dress him in a fine robe, a ring, and sandals, and slaughter the "fattened calf" for a celebratory meal.
The older son, who was at work in the fields, hears the sound of celebration, and is told about the return of his younger brother. He is not impressed, and becomes angry.
The parable concludes with the father explaining to the older son that because the younger son had returned, in a sense, from the dead, celebration was necessary.
this is almost an exact story of my ex-husband and his family (mom & Dad divorced with other family now, and 3 siblings with spouses and children.)
he walked away, returned 5 years later unannounced and with a wife and 3 year old in tow.
we were welcomed and loved by everyone.
but then, when my son was 6, he did it again, and this time we were also included in the missingness of the life he chose.
i saw the notification, opened it up, and was surprised to see it was from my ex sister in law cathy.
she was asking to get in touch with Daniel (my son), as her mother, Delores Dean (Dans Mother) had passed away.
i was in shock. and so hurt, for her, her mother was a really nice woman.
so i told Daniel to check his messages and he saw she had one, and they spoke to each other about the thing she was needing to get in touch with him about.
i asked if she wanted me to try to find Dan (my ex) and tell him.
she never told me i couldnt, just that SHE didnt feel the need to inform him.
see, my ex basically has left his family wondering about him.(prodigal son)
when i knew where he was and i had found cathy, i informed her. she wasnt to thrilled to know about him, and wasnt to thrilled to know i made contact, she never friended me when i had asked her to.
i had shared his info with her, but i doubt she wrote him.
im not really sure why she didnt want to have contact with me.... im not her brother. but regardless, it was a shock to see her messaging me to get in touch with my son.
so, im put in a precarious place, i have info i really feel is something Dan should be told, its his mother after all...but his family doesnt feel they want to deliver it. not that he shouldnt have it, but that they dont feel the need to reunite with him, after he has walked away from them 2 times (that i know of now) and have him do it again.
he did it to me as well, when my son was 6, he left. never looked back.
i have tried all my power and might to forgive him, and allow him the opportunity to know his son.
its by divine powers that i even knew where he was when i found him. i had written a blog about our marriage, for my son, as a family history kind of moment, and a month or two later someone contacted me to tell me she thought my ex husband was someone she knew. we exchanged info, and i knew, just from a few things she told me he was the same person. well, she told me he was incarcerated and for what, and i went and did some searches on him online and found his prison, and his inmate number, and an address to write him.
so, i did.
just before he was released i sent him a Christmas card. let him know i knew where he was and why, and that i still had Daniel. and offered him the chance then to speak, write to his son. explain himself, say he was sorry, repent, ask forgiveness...
he had been contacted by my Adoption lawyer for removal of parental rights when Daniel was 16 so my current husband could adopt him and Daniel could have our last names, i just didnt feel it was right to have Daniel keep Dans last name, if i had remarried, and his dad wasnt in his life anymore, i wanted my son to be able to have the new last name as well. so we filed for adoption, and that info i was given was the access and avenue to have Dan served with the papers to allow for the proceedings to go forward.
after he was released he got on Facebook, made a fake account, and chatted with me a few times. we talked mostly through emails back and forth. nothing special. but he did give me a number to a place he was staying at. (he timed out of that halfway facility, and has since been listed as under a bridge)
so, i called it one day, and got him on the phone, and then handed the phone over to Daniel. and they spoke.
that was the last time i heard from him.
hes been MIA ever since, but because he had to register, i have an address for him, which isnt a REAL address, not like a house number and street, its a general area. address is..under a bridge. actually, between 2 streets and listed as "underpass" (by him, of course).
no, im not lying. hes homeless. and even that hurts my heart.
so, with this new news i have to try to figure out how to get this info to him, and im not really sure how.
i have a few ideas...
one- email/mail all the local shelters with a letter and his face on it, so they can try to make sure they spot him.
two- same for all his local soup kitchens. may be the same places as the shelters.
three- get in touch with my church there in the area where he last had an address, and see if hes tried to make contact with my faith, for any assistance.
he should know his mom has passed away.
i had to tell him his dad passed away a month before he was released this last time. i found the obituary for his death online. sent that info to him. and he was released a month later.
such devastating news.
when i posted this info in facebook, and the fact i felt i needed to try to find him, i had ppl saying things to me like "your a better person than me", most were for comfort for my son, Dan and his family. but that one comment struck me...
i would hope, whatever pain i may cause anyone else in this life i would be forgiven for it.
he walked away, and yes thats a bad thing to do to a 6 year old, but ya know what? we made it, my kids not into drugs, doesnt drink, doesnt hang out with his buddies after dark, has a job (all be i a part time weekend one, thats 3rd shift, its still..a job), hes not anxious to drive...to date, to do anything his age is normally always doing and getting in trouble for.
im a stronger woman because Dan walked away. His choice bettered us.
and i feel, at some level i have forgiven him.
on a level, i also still love him. im not IN LOVE with him (huge difference) but i do, still love him.
i feel i can still love dan, because we do share a history, im just never going to ever be IN love with him. he ruined that when he left.
i am actually..grateful he left, not because he was a bad man, no, im greatful because i wouldnt be who i am today had he stayed. im a better person, and stronger for that trial i was forced to bear, and i hope it did good for my son, as well.
the ONLY thing i regret, is that Dan hasnt told Daniel why he left, and i feel Daniel is owed that much.
its not about how i hurt, i was an adult, our son, was 6. and it may have impacted him in ways i have no idea, just because he looks ok on the surface, doesnt mean he is.
and now, i have this information i feel he should have. and i dont know if ill ever be able to give it to him.
so, im hunting.
found some shelters online, a few have email addresses, so, ill start there.
HOLY FAMILY SHELTER
Google+page
907 North Holmes Ave
Indianapolis, IN(317) 635-7830
WHEELER MISSION MINISTERIES
Google + page
245 North Delaware Street
Indianapolis, IN
(317) 636-2720
Indianapolis, IN
DAYSPRINGS CENTER
Google+ page
2716 East Washington Street
Indianapolis, IN
(317) 638-2862
Indianapolis, IN
HORIZON HOUSE INC
Google+ page
1033 East Washington Street
Indianapolis, IN(317) 423-8909
3737 North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, IN
(317) 630-0853
Indianapolis, IN
this is the shelters, is till have to look at addresses for soup kitchens which could be as many, more, or even less...
7 soup kitchens. one more than shelters and actually ONE of the shelters is also a soup kitchen.
CENTENARY CHRISTIAN CHURCH
1035 North Oxford Street
Indianapolis, IN
(317) 639-1481
Indianapolis, IN
WHEELER MISSION MINISTERIES
Google + page
245 North Delaware Street
Indianapolis, IN
(317) 636-2720
SECOND HELPINGS INC.
1121 Southeastern Avenue,
Indianapolis, IN 46202
Google+ page
2830 South Holt Road, Indianapolis, IN 46241
GLEANERS FOOD BANK OF INDIANA
3737 Waldemere Avenue, Indianapolis, IN 46241
soooo..all together thats...12 places to message, and or send a message to in the attempt to get this
info to Dan somehow. as he has every right to know about his mother, just because hes distanced
himself from his family (for whatever reason) and they have chosen NOT to forgive that offense
doesnt mean this information ISNT his to have. its as much his as any of theirs.
so, im taking it upon myself to try to locate this man, who has damaged, and hurt my family..
and taking the higher road, and even tho i know nothing can come of this but more pain...
im going to try to deliver this message to him, because thats his mother. and he should know.
i have a long haul ahead of me in this venture. without any certain outcome, heck, he may not even be
in Indiana any longer. i have NO idea, but THAT just makes it that much harder to find him, and get
him this info thats all his to have,
remember, at some point we are all a prodigal child.
i know if my son left, and went unknown, id be so thankful he had returned, even if it meant more pain
afterwards.
id be devestated if i was Dan and didnt know about my moms passing.
it was hard enough as it was when my own mother passed 12 years ago, but to not know....id have been
shattered.
now, i could be compeltely wrong, and this may have no effect on him what so ever.
but its not my info to keep.
but...
i WILL try.
i will start on these tomorrow...
i still have to try to find an obituary for her online, im sure her family did one.
if i can find that, ill include that in my letters and emails.
Michelle
Indianapolis, IN
(317) 632-2664
(317) 243-8023
Google+ page ^^^
1003 West 16th Street Indianapolis, IN 46202
(317) 634-9178
(317) 925-0191
Google+ page ^^^^
Indianapolis, IN 46201
(317) 357-8771
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