and had the impression i needed to do something...for me.
something id want..
something that..would make me..a better person.
what we each think to make us better is individual.
theres not one thing that all can do to achieve this marker. you have to figure this out for yourself.
so...what do i want?
for me?
that would make me a better person?
its crazy, cause its so NOT my thing..
but i want to join a gym, and work out..
heres my reasons.
1)- im fat. not gonna lie, i am. its the truth, while i am NOT AS FAT as i was, i still have weight.
i had gastric surgery..in march, 4 years ago? or was it 5 now? id have to go check my youtube for that..lol
anyway, ive lost 60-70 pounds since then, but have stalled. i havnt gained anything back, but i also have not lost anything more.
and im SUPPOSED to be (by their scale) 100 pounds lighter. theyd like me to be at 160.
thats 100.pounds (roughly) to go. 20 more off, would mean i hit halfway to that goal (if im doing my math right, i suck at math so my numbers can be way off).
found this quote i liked, thought it was fitting for this part of my blog
personally, i feel 160, is too small...and id fit a 180 MUCH better and still feel ok about myself.
if thats my goal (and personally, to me it is) i only have 80 more to go. i like that number..MUCH better..lol
2)- i had a heart attack a couple of years ago. so i really need to attempt to build that muscle up to something after that damage (which was minimal, but still..damage)
3)- i deserve this. this is for me. my gift, to myself...and my husband, and my son, and all the ppl who know me, love me, hate ,e and are indifferent to me. it helping me to stay around.
so, naturally, this will require a commitment, to myself to obtain.
and i have thought about this for a long time..rolled it around in my head (and heart) and been thinking about joining a gym.
i am such a weinie when it comes to ppl looking at me, and..judging me.
even tho, im a strong personality, i have this fear, that ppl will judge me based on my weight. and it happens. even as an adult, i experience it, i get stares and glares, and condecending looks from ppl , but i usually just brush that stuff off...
and i say to ppl all the time, "that persons opinion of you doesnt matter, what matters is YOUR opinion of you"
yet, for this, for some odd reason, it matters to me...
another thing to work through, i guess, another demon to face and vanquish.
so yeah, i have issues, lol (who doesnt, lol)
last month i was invited to 1gym with a church freind, for thursday morning, and i had to cancel out a couple of times...mainly because im on the kids schedule, and up half the night and then i go get him, and have a really hard time trying to swap my shedule artound to accomodate the morning zumba hours, when im just ready for sleep..
but, at the same time, after i drop him off at work, i am absolutly wired!
and its come to my thinking, why not burn that off..somehow, by, oh say, tripping into the gym after youve dropped him off, and ...oh say...walking on the treadmill for an hour?
on his off days, i could go in in the am, or afternoon...
hers my local 10gyms schedule. it would be awesome if there was one closer to the kid, so i could just go in and not worry about that drive to get to it, its like 10 minutes from my house. but either way, i guess, its a long drive, id just think after a good walk, id be thinking about that and not my mom so much.
i was reading some of the comments that ppl had rated the place and the fact that they say they are open 24 hours and then they arnt was a huge issue for some, but im not too worried about that, because id hit it when i could...
when i take the kid to work its late wednesdays,, thursdays, and fridays. fridays im with craig, we take the kid together, just because its harder for me to see at night, and i like being with him, we can share some time together...so we do that together, so i dont think, if be going to the gym on a friday night...they wouldnt be open when ive taken daniel to work, anyway.
so, for 2 nights i could go in and walk allot of steam off, if i wanted to.
and danisl days off (saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday) i can go in and do my thing during the day time...
i like that they have zumba on 3 of those days...(tuesday, thursday, saturday)
i can skip thrusday if im walking, OR..i could do a double up, and do zumba that morning, and walking that night to make up for the one day i wont have anything to do...
so my schedule for this place could look like this somewhat:
SUNDAY- 8am-8pm, walk on treadmill
MONDAY-5am(open)-walk in treadmill
TUESDAY-9:15am: ZUMBA
WEDNESDAY-(kid to work) walk on treadmill
THURSDAY-9:15am ZUMBA (kid to work)/ walk on treadmill
FRIDAY-before close (10pm) walk on treadmill
SATURDAY 6am-8pm- 11:15am ZUMBA
even if i never did any ZUMBA (id like to build myself up to that, to be honest), id get 3-5 days of walking in...and thats healthy.
so, tonight, on the way back from taking the kid into work, i drove into the parkinglot, anytime wed drive by id try to see what it looked like from the road, and never could, tonight, i was in the parking lot..alone. and drive past the front doors where i could see the exercise equipment, looked like a ton of weigh machines, i didnt notice any treadmills, but im sure there were some...
crazy as it is, at 11pm, theres like 20 cars in that lot. insane. mostly guys.
ugh. all buff looking too. double ugh.
not my favorite fan base, but what the heck, maybe they will gain an appreciation for someone MY age (lol, 47, not like im geriatric or anything..lol) whos overweight, and trying her best to drop..20 pounds...thats my 1st goal.
make the goals attainable...not unreasonable.
work how ever long it takes to get to that goal.
appreciate the effort, the reward will be amazing! (hard, no doubt, but AMAZING!)
so thats the plan...now, when will i start this? who knows..lol maybe ill swing by tomorrow afternoon and do it.
its a monthly charge on my card. 20.00 i have 60+ on it now, and extra in cash i can put on it..
have to say, i am thankful i am babysitting, which can feed this for me as im working this...
perfect payments too. :)
i even have an outfit i had went and got, new exercize pants, and shoes and a shirt, just to work out in, and i have yet to break any of that in...
i can at least do that..lol use that as the excuse to break in those new NEON YELLOW SHOES i got to do all this in..lol
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